The hardest par…

The hardest part about growing up, is letting go of what you were used to; and moving on with something you’re not.- Anonymous

 

It’s hard letting go. This attempt at a journey back into my childhood stemmed from just that. I couldn’t and still can’t let go of who I was when I was child- someone who worked hard to achieve great things, someone who had dreams with no limits. Yes, I tried to be an adult too fast and never lived my childhood in as childish way as possible. But I now realise that I did live the part of childhood that involved dreaming big and achieving big fish in a little pond status.

But this world is one very big pond. 

And maybe it’s time for me to realise that and let go. Let go of who I used to be, the highly-achieving, dream-making chid. Because that’s exactly what I was- a child. With childishly-big dreams and child achievements. Life has got in the way of blogging recently, adult life. I work full-time, I live away from my parents, I have bills and responsibilities like most other adults. So why do I expect to move on with this and yet not let go of the disappointment linked to not having that childish part of me still around? 

Visiting family recently, I noticed something a little sad but interesting at the same time.

We had all changed.

Our own lives had started to shape us in ways we could never have predicted and didn’t realise ourselves until faced with each other again. And this is why I found this quote so apt. It’s hard growing up, realising that you’re not the same person you were a few years ago. What has more of a profound effect, is realising your family are not the same people they were a few years and the dynamics of family relationships aren’t going to be the same after time apart. This is not to say they’re going to be any worse, but they will be different. 

So week six of learning to be a child isn’t going to involve sticker books or sweeties. Week six is about learning a valuable lesson that I feel I’ve never truly understand until now. Being a child involves learning such lessons all the time and, this week, I’ve learnt one of them. I thought I was a grown-up when I was just a child but, in reality, my thoughts and dreams were still always child-like. So maybe I wasn’t so grown-up after all? 

Week six’s lesson is summed up beautifully by the quote- I’ve learnt to let go. Just like children don’t hold grudges, forget easily and move on, i’ve learnt this week that I need to let go of the past. Let go of what I was used to, be that in relationships, in personality or in appearance. I need to move on with who I am now and make dreams that have a place now, not follow the dreams of my 13 year-old self. 

It’s the hardest part about growing up but, if mastered, it’s the part that gives you true freedom for your future. 

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