A new start

I haven’t written for a while. A LONG while. The truth is, my journey of learning to be a child has taken a back seat because adult life has quite simply got in the way. Exams, work, the usual life ‘things’. So I’ve decided this will be my final post on this journey.

I won’t say it’s been unsuccessful, I’ve had fun and learnt a lot but quite simply i’ve never been one of those people you look at as a ‘big kid’ and, well, I am an adult after all. This journey has taught me just that and no I’m not going to stop writing but I am going to alter my journey from now on.

It’s time for change. It’s time to stop trying to be a kid because I think this way I’ll find whatever it is I’m looking for because realistically I have no idea. Maybe it’s time to approach things differently, take the adult approach.

So as one blog ends, another one begins. One of new experiences, of thoughts and ideas, dreams and hopes- a journey towards finding whatever it is I’m looking for. A purpose? True happiness? Something else in all this hustle and bustle of life that makes that difference? 

First stop- start planning a book I’ve always dreamed of writing. 

Week Nine: Sunny days

Sometimes things get hard. At work, college, in relationships, through health.

Life isn’t an easy ride.

The lesson I’ve learnt this week though is that one sunny day can change all that. The sun doesn’t just light up our skies- it lights up our hearts, minds and spirits. A walk in the sunshine or lying down in a park with your face upturned to the sky can make you feel everything is right again, everything will be okay.

So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by darkness just remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel- literally. 

Week Eight: Team spirit

Athletics- Road running and Cross Country Running

The day arrives.

The sweat, blood and tears it has taken to get to this moment. The time, money, energy, sacrifices. Everything has been building up for this one short day.

I’ve never been good at sports, NEVER. I was never in a team, never excelling at P.E., I couldn’t even go for a run round the block. I still can’t. But supporting at  a sports’ event, that I can do. 

The excitement built in me, the nerves built in my family member taking part in the sports’ event. The days ticked by until the event. Plans were put into place, bags were packed, flags were made, miles were travelled.

And then…

We cheered, we jumped, we shouted, we smiled.

The flags were waved, steps were climbed, necks were strained reaching to see the event.

And I loved every second. 

I felt nervous, excited, happy. But most of all I felt proud. Proud to be a part of something, proud to feel the meaning of team spirit- what it feels like to support something, watch achievement unfolding in front of me. I never took part in sports at school, but I can’t remember supporting it either. Maybe I felt I couldn’t if I didn’t take part but this event taught me the opposite.

I can feel part of a team spirit, even if I’m not going to be the next Olympic athlete myself. 

So week eight’s lesson? 

Go out there and support your family or your friends or any other sporting event so you can feel part of the exciting, nerve-wracking, overwhelming phenomenon that is team spirit. 

 

Week Seven: The Fear of Asking

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My journey of learning to be a child seems to be taking a different turn. Recently, it’s been less about doing childish materialistic things (because, let’s face it, turning up at a kid’s theme park on your own or hogging the climbing frame at a park is not exactly right- it’s why those places are for kids) and more about re-learning the actual lessons you’re taught as a child but often forgot the importance of in adulthood.

This week I learnt one of those incredibly important lessons- to ask for help.

There has been or will be times in everyone’s life when they need to ask for help, whether that be in their personal, emotional, financial or work life. As adults we’re very good at doing the exact opposite. Trying to deal with it all on our own “because we can”, because we’re grown-up and responsible enough to not need anyone’s helping hand.

But maybe the answer to whatever problem we are experiencing, cannot be dealt with on our own. As children we know when to ask parents or friends, teachers or classmates for help. We know not to struggle on our own when that extra hand could give us the last push we need in completing a task or understanding a concept. So why do we think it is any different in adulthood?

We’re older, true.

We’ve learnt more, true.

We know everything, false.

We are superhumans who can deal with everything, false.

We are perfect, false.

This week has taught me just that- we are neither superhumans or perfect beings and asking for help is not a sign of weakness nor a sign of irresponsibility in our own lives. No, it is quite the opposite. It is a sign of strength, of intelligence, of responsibility. So next time you are struggling with something, whether it be trivial or serious, personal or professional, ASK.

Ask for that helping hand, because nine times out of ten it’ll be right there reaching out to you.

The hardest par…

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The hardest part about growing up, is letting go of what you were used to; and moving on with something you’re not.- Anonymous

 

It’s hard letting go. This attempt at a journey back into my childhood stemmed from just that. I couldn’t and still can’t let go of who I was when I was child- someone who worked hard to achieve great things, someone who had dreams with no limits. Yes, I tried to be an adult too fast and never lived my childhood in as childish way as possible. But I now realise that I did live the part of childhood that involved dreaming big and achieving big fish in a little pond status.

But this world is one very big pond. 

And maybe it’s time for me to realise that and let go. Let go of who I used to be, the highly-achieving, dream-making chid. Because that’s exactly what I was- a child. With childishly-big dreams and child achievements. Life has got in the way of blogging recently, adult life. I work full-time, I live away from my parents, I have bills and responsibilities like most other adults. So why do I expect to move on with this and yet not let go of the disappointment linked to not having that childish part of me still around? 

Visiting family recently, I noticed something a little sad but interesting at the same time.

We had all changed.

Our own lives had started to shape us in ways we could never have predicted and didn’t realise ourselves until faced with each other again. And this is why I found this quote so apt. It’s hard growing up, realising that you’re not the same person you were a few years ago. What has more of a profound effect, is realising your family are not the same people they were a few years and the dynamics of family relationships aren’t going to be the same after time apart. This is not to say they’re going to be any worse, but they will be different. 

So week six of learning to be a child isn’t going to involve sticker books or sweeties. Week six is about learning a valuable lesson that I feel I’ve never truly understand until now. Being a child involves learning such lessons all the time and, this week, I’ve learnt one of them. I thought I was a grown-up when I was just a child but, in reality, my thoughts and dreams were still always child-like. So maybe I wasn’t so grown-up after all? 

Week six’s lesson is summed up beautifully by the quote- I’ve learnt to let go. Just like children don’t hold grudges, forget easily and move on, i’ve learnt this week that I need to let go of the past. Let go of what I was used to, be that in relationships, in personality or in appearance. I need to move on with who I am now and make dreams that have a place now, not follow the dreams of my 13 year-old self. 

It’s the hardest part about growing up but, if mastered, it’s the part that gives you true freedom for your future. 

Raindrops keep falling on my head

Rain drops falling on water.

When was the last time you didn’t run from the rain? When you let the droplets, big or small, just fall?

Week five.

Well I did just that. I went out for a walk along the beach and the sky grew angry and black very quickly! Next thing I knew, big fat droplets of rain were falling and they were falling fast. But this time I didn’t run, I didn’t get my umbrella out to cover my hair. I just kept on walking.

And got soaked. 

But for one of the first times, I just let it go. I let the rain fall and fall and fall. 

It was liberating really. Kids all around me on the beach were squealing away, running around in the rain whilst parents huddled under umbrellas to keep dry. So I did what the kids did and childishly squealed about the rain to my mum. 

Well I am trying to learn to be a child aren’t I?

Week Four: A Breath of Fresh Air

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Fresh air. Seems silly to spend even a second thinking about the concept of fresh air, considering it’s around us every time we step out of the house or open the window. We breathe it in without thinking.

But how often do we really breathe? How often do we take an enormous gulp of untouched, cold, fresh air and truly breathe?

This week’s learning to be a child challenge was quite simple. I learnt the importance of fresh air and breathing. I wrapped up warm, travelled to the nearest coastal path and walked. And I kept on walking. Through woodland, up hills, along the beach and back again. Breathing in this beautiful, refreshing, satisfying fresh air with each and every step.

We all rush about, looking after our family, going to work, running errands, that we never take that minute to appreciate the value of what is right outside and around us. It’s drummed into us that children need fresh air so why not us as adults too?

So next time you take a step outside, stop for a second and breathe in the fresh air.