Week Eight: Team spirit

Athletics- Road running and Cross Country Running

The day arrives.

The sweat, blood and tears it has taken to get to this moment. The time, money, energy, sacrifices. Everything has been building up for this one short day.

I’ve never been good at sports, NEVER. I was never in a team, never excelling at P.E., I couldn’t even go for a run round the block. I still can’t. But supporting at  a sports’ event, that I can do. 

The excitement built in me, the nerves built in my family member taking part in the sports’ event. The days ticked by until the event. Plans were put into place, bags were packed, flags were made, miles were travelled.

And then…

We cheered, we jumped, we shouted, we smiled.

The flags were waved, steps were climbed, necks were strained reaching to see the event.

And I loved every second. 

I felt nervous, excited, happy. But most of all I felt proud. Proud to be a part of something, proud to feel the meaning of team spirit- what it feels like to support something, watch achievement unfolding in front of me. I never took part in sports at school, but I can’t remember supporting it either. Maybe I felt I couldn’t if I didn’t take part but this event taught me the opposite.

I can feel part of a team spirit, even if I’m not going to be the next Olympic athlete myself. 

So week eight’s lesson? 

Go out there and support your family or your friends or any other sporting event so you can feel part of the exciting, nerve-wracking, overwhelming phenomenon that is team spirit. 

 

The hardest par…

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The hardest part about growing up, is letting go of what you were used to; and moving on with something you’re not.- Anonymous

 

It’s hard letting go. This attempt at a journey back into my childhood stemmed from just that. I couldn’t and still can’t let go of who I was when I was child- someone who worked hard to achieve great things, someone who had dreams with no limits. Yes, I tried to be an adult too fast and never lived my childhood in as childish way as possible. But I now realise that I did live the part of childhood that involved dreaming big and achieving big fish in a little pond status.

But this world is one very big pond. 

And maybe it’s time for me to realise that and let go. Let go of who I used to be, the highly-achieving, dream-making chid. Because that’s exactly what I was- a child. With childishly-big dreams and child achievements. Life has got in the way of blogging recently, adult life. I work full-time, I live away from my parents, I have bills and responsibilities like most other adults. So why do I expect to move on with this and yet not let go of the disappointment linked to not having that childish part of me still around? 

Visiting family recently, I noticed something a little sad but interesting at the same time.

We had all changed.

Our own lives had started to shape us in ways we could never have predicted and didn’t realise ourselves until faced with each other again. And this is why I found this quote so apt. It’s hard growing up, realising that you’re not the same person you were a few years ago. What has more of a profound effect, is realising your family are not the same people they were a few years and the dynamics of family relationships aren’t going to be the same after time apart. This is not to say they’re going to be any worse, but they will be different. 

So week six of learning to be a child isn’t going to involve sticker books or sweeties. Week six is about learning a valuable lesson that I feel I’ve never truly understand until now. Being a child involves learning such lessons all the time and, this week, I’ve learnt one of them. I thought I was a grown-up when I was just a child but, in reality, my thoughts and dreams were still always child-like. So maybe I wasn’t so grown-up after all? 

Week six’s lesson is summed up beautifully by the quote- I’ve learnt to let go. Just like children don’t hold grudges, forget easily and move on, i’ve learnt this week that I need to let go of the past. Let go of what I was used to, be that in relationships, in personality or in appearance. I need to move on with who I am now and make dreams that have a place now, not follow the dreams of my 13 year-old self. 

It’s the hardest part about growing up but, if mastered, it’s the part that gives you true freedom for your future. 

Raindrops keep falling on my head

Rain drops falling on water.

When was the last time you didn’t run from the rain? When you let the droplets, big or small, just fall?

Week five.

Well I did just that. I went out for a walk along the beach and the sky grew angry and black very quickly! Next thing I knew, big fat droplets of rain were falling and they were falling fast. But this time I didn’t run, I didn’t get my umbrella out to cover my hair. I just kept on walking.

And got soaked. 

But for one of the first times, I just let it go. I let the rain fall and fall and fall. 

It was liberating really. Kids all around me on the beach were squealing away, running around in the rain whilst parents huddled under umbrellas to keep dry. So I did what the kids did and childishly squealed about the rain to my mum. 

Well I am trying to learn to be a child aren’t I?

Week Four: A Breath of Fresh Air

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Fresh air. Seems silly to spend even a second thinking about the concept of fresh air, considering it’s around us every time we step out of the house or open the window. We breathe it in without thinking.

But how often do we really breathe? How often do we take an enormous gulp of untouched, cold, fresh air and truly breathe?

This week’s learning to be a child challenge was quite simple. I learnt the importance of fresh air and breathing. I wrapped up warm, travelled to the nearest coastal path and walked. And I kept on walking. Through woodland, up hills, along the beach and back again. Breathing in this beautiful, refreshing, satisfying fresh air with each and every step.

We all rush about, looking after our family, going to work, running errands, that we never take that minute to appreciate the value of what is right outside and around us. It’s drummed into us that children need fresh air so why not us as adults too?

So next time you take a step outside, stop for a second and breathe in the fresh air. 

Are children better dreamers than ourselves?

Fulfilling this week’s lesson in learning to be a child has really made me think about the bigger picture of where this is all going. I wanted to do child-like things as a way of learning about myself. But why do I need to learn about myself?

I don’t think I really realised the truth that lay behind this until today and that is that by learning about myself, I hope I can realise what I truly want from my life and what I truly want to achieve.

Because, in all honesty, I don’t have a clue.

Adult life gets so complicated, so busy, that we very rarely step back and question what we’re doing and what we want. This is the most important step in following our dreams, truly and honestly discovering what they are.

No, I don’t know what they are yet. But maybe my inner child does…

“And they lived happily ever after.”

 

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Happily ever after is like beauty. It lives in the eye of the beholder.

A homeless man offered a permanent shelter believes he is living happily ever after. A popstar whose offered a million pound contract believes they’re living their happily ever after.

But am I?

No I am not.

What do I need to do to get there?

I have no idea.

My biggest fear is not thati’ll never achieve my own happily ever after, but that I won’t see it when I find it. I don’t know what I want my happily ever after to be because I don’t truly know what my dreams are. Maybe this is all part of what I am blogging about at the moment, not having lived my childhood as a child means not being able to dream as a child which in turn means picturing my childhood fantasy happily ever after is impossible.

I hope that if I find my inner child, I can find my inner dreams.

So when my happily ever after comes along, I won’t be blind to what’s right before my eyes.

Nature and Its See-Saws

I explored. I span around.

I jumped up high. I ran the ground.

Soared high above the sky, felt like I could fly.

And you know why?

Because I laughed, I shouted, I climbed. I ran to the top of the hill.

I smelt the flowers and saw the fish so that I could fulfil…

Week three.

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I’m not a poet and this blog isn’t about trying to be one. It’s about letting my experiences of this week be shared differently. It’s short and simple and not like my usual long ramblings. But maybe that’s what week three has taught me- something as short and simple as getting on the swings at the playground, running to the lookout hill’s view point which makes you feel on top of the world or bouncing on the miniature garden’s trampoline, has brought out a different side of me. A different way of writing my thoughts to you this week. The learning to be a child journey has taught me how important getting outside into the fresh air and exploring is this week- smelling the flowers, hearing the birds, taking a step back and breathing. Acting like my inner child has invigorated my outer adult.

So, week four. Now what?Image